1) I love couples who fight in the waiting room. At least they still care about each other. If one or both of you seem indifferent, my job is a lot harder.2) When you say your feelings “just aren’t there anymore,” I know you’re probably cheating.3) Sometimes I’ll tell a couple “no sex until the next session. Don’t touch each other, period.” What I’m really hoping is that they’ll fail and feel a sense of unity from their mutual rebellion.4) It may make you feel better to talk about your marriage issues with a good friend, but it will just make things worse. Never talk to outsiders about things in your marriage that you haven’t already talked about with your spouse.5) I’m not going to tell a couple that I have no idea why they’re together. But take the hint if I say something like “You both have to make a decision about whether this is going to work long term.”6) What do I wish I could say? “Grow up!” “Stop whining!” “Get a life!” When I feel this way, I know I need a vacation.7) Don’t try to convince me you’re the good one. In most marriages, there isn’t a good one.8) Yes, you should go to bed angry. If you try to resolve everything before you hit the sack, you’ll both be sleep-deprived and cranky the next day. Instead, get a good night’s sleep and talk once you’re rested.9) Three signs that a couple is not going to succeed: name-calling, finger-pointing, and when one or both partners fail to accept even the tiniest bit of responsibility for the situation.10) Sometimes two people love each other but have such different styles of living that I recommend they live together in a duplex. It sounds strange, but it works for some people.11) I’ve seen couples I thought didn’t stand a chance end up staying together. Often it’s because they’re both willing to try. But sometimes it’s just that they are too dysfunctional to leave each other.12) The big thing most women don’t understand: Men are not mind readers. If you don’t tell him how you feel, he’s not going to know. The big thing most men don’t understand: If you hardly acknowledge your wife all day, she’s not going to want to get intimate with you at night.13) If I ask you how long you’ve had problems and your answer is “ten years,” you’re not going to change things in ten minutes or ten sessions.Sources: Jeff Palitz, a marriage and family therapist in Chula Vista, California; Susan Fletcher, PhD, a psychologist in Dallas; Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a psychotherapist in Long Beach, California; Nancy Mramor, PhD, in Pittsburgh; Karen Sherman, PhD, in New York; Lawrence J. Levy, PsyD, a licensedpsychologist in Boca Raton, Florida; Meghan L. Reitz, LCPC, NCC, in Schaumburg, Illinois; and a marriage counselor in Pennsylvania.By Michelle CrouchSource: Reader’s Digest Magazine Share Tweet Share 55 Views no discussions Sharing is caring! Share LifestyleRelationships 13 Things Your Marriage Counselor Won’t Tell You. by: – July 11, 2011
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Scott Jamieson’s final-hole heroics helped Great Britain and Ireland narrow the deficit to a single point at the end of the second day of the Seve Trophy at St Nom La Breteche. Press Association But the remaining four matches threatened to swing blue and Continental Europe restored their two-point advantage when Nicolas Colsaerts and Gonzalo Fdez-Castano equalled the biggest winning margin in the tournament’s history. They built on a 5&3 win on the opening day by recording a thumping 6&5 success against Paul Lawrie and Stephen Gallacher which boosted Europe’s hopes of ending six straight Seve Trophy victory by GB and Ireland. Although Jamie Donaldson and Marc Warren once again reduced the deficit with a 4&2 win over Thomas Bjorn and Miguel Angel Jimenez, both remaining matches looked like going to Europe until a dramatic late twist. Italians Francesco Molinari and Matteo Manassero looked to be sailing home against Jamieson and David Lynn as they held a two-stroke lead with two holes to play, but Jamieson’s birdie on the 17th took it to the final hole. After Manassero missed his chance from eight feet Jamieson stepped up again to sink a six-foot birdie and steal victory in a match the GB pair seldom looked like winning to leave the overall standings all-square. In the final match of the day, Tommy Fleetwood and Chris Wood came up agonisingly short against Joost Luiten and Gregory Bourdy despite a brave fightback when all seemed lost. The Continental Europe pair were three up after 14 and two up with two to play, but Woods’ eagle on the 17th ensured it would go down to the final hole. Both Wood and Fleetwood had putts to win the final pin and halve the match, but Fleetwood’s effort drifted wide from six feet, allowing Luiten and Bourdy to escape with a one-hole victory to restore Europe’s narrow advantage. Jose Maria Olazabal’s Continental Europe team looked set to extend their overnight lead for much of Friday’s play but a sterling fightback started by Jamieson left the score at 5 ½ to 4 ½ heading into the weekend. Paul Casey and Simon Khan had given Great Britain and Ireland a good start with a 3&2 victory over Mikko Ilonen and Thorbjorn Olesen partly thanks to a brilliant rescue shot from Casey which left them three up after seven.
Newcastle are in a hurry to tie up their top summer transfer targets after signalling a new era at St James’ Park. Press Association The Magpies had been putting out feelers long before Steve McClaren’s appointment as head coach was confirmed on Wednesday evening, and they are hopeful of making swift progress. Press Association Sport understands the club is closing in on top target Charlie Austin, although the QPR striker, who is currently on international duty with England after scoring 18 Barclays Premier League goals last season, will be much sought after. He told the Chronicle: “Every club has their heroes and past legends. I came from Derby and they had Cloughie (Brian Clough), and you must never forget them. You aspire to that. “Newcastle has terrific history and tradition and at every club, I used to tell the players the aim was to get your photos up on the walls with people saying, ‘You were the team that did that’. “You want to be the ones that people talk about through the years. I tell the players, ‘We want you there on walls’.” No deal is yet in place, but there is optimism on Tyneside that agreement can be reached. Attacking options are high on the Magpies’ list of priorities, with strikers and a left-sided midfielder understood to be their main focus after owner Mike Ashley signalled his intention to loosen the purse strings. West Brom’s Saido Berahino and Hull midfielder Tom Ince are among the names which interest them, while former frontman Andy Carroll has never been very far from their thoughts since the day he left St James’ Park. But while there will be a greater emphasis on men with experience of British football, chief scout Graham Carr will not abandon the continental market completely, and reports from the Netherlands have linked Newcastle with Wolfsburg’s Holland international frontman Bas Dost, while PSV Eindhoven midfielder Georginio Wijnaldum is also figuring in their thoughts. In addition, there have been positive noises from Moussa Sissoko’s camp in recent days after months of speculation that the France midfielder could leave the club during the close season. McClaren, who arrived without fanfare but is hoping to make an early impact with a statement of intent, is also keen to have his coaching staff in place within days after the departures of John Carver and Steve Stone earlier this week. Paul Simpson, with whom he worked at Derby, has been tipped to follow the 54-year-old to Tyneside, but compensation could yet prove an issue, while the former England boss is also looking at young coaches with successful playing careers behind them who can inspire his new-look squad. But whatever the make-up of his staff and squad when the transfer window closes, McClaren has challenged his players to make history at a club which has not won a trophy since 1969 and not tasted domestic success for 14 years longer.
Emmanuel Amuneke Amuneke, 48, was relieved of the Taifa Stars’ job as the Tanzanian FA leadership was not satisfied with his inability to take the team beyond the group stage of AFCON 2019.Tanzania lost 3-2 to Kenya in the opening group match; were beaten 2-0 by Senegal and completed the Group C outing with another 3-0 loss against Algeria.But almost two months after the AFCON in Egypt, the Tanzanian FA appears to have reneged on its promise to pay the FIFA U-17 World Cup winning coach his entitlement.But when THISDAY spoke with Amuneke on the matter yesterday from his base in Spain, the ex-international admitted contacting FIFA on the matter.“Yes, it is true that I have not been settled what I am entitled to in my contract with the Tanzanian FA. I have already asked FIFA to help me intervene on the matter,” stressed the former left-winger who won the AFCON 1994 for Nigeria with his vital goals.Amuneke who is not given to frivolities insisted that “it is left for FIFA to decide whether it is right to terminate a contract without any payment as stated in the contract we signed.”Amuneke who also played a vital role in Nigeria’s 1996 Atlanta Olympic Games men’s football victory gave Tanzania the ticket to AFCON 2019 with Taifa Stars 3-0 home win against Uganda’s Cranes on the final day of the qualifiers.The former Nigerian star who took up coaching after retiring and completed his coaching coaches in Europe in 2008 was coach of Sudanese side Al Khartoum Al Watani Sports Club in November 2017. But he walked away after just four months when the club told him to take a pay cut.The Tanzanian job was Amuneke’s sixth in his coaching career.Share this:FacebookRedditTwitterPrintPinterestEmailWhatsAppSkypeLinkedInTumblrPocketTelegram Femi SolajaAfter qualifying Tanzania’s Taifa Stars for the 2019 Africa Cup of Nations (AFCON) for the first time in 39 years and leading the team to the continental showpiece in Egypt, Emmanuel Amuneke, has asked the Arbitration Committee of FIFA to compel the East African nation to pay him his outstanding wages.The former Nigeria and Barcelona winger who is AFCON 1994 winner with the Super Eagles wants the football world body to compel the Tanzanian FA to settle the contractual entitlement to him following the mutual agreement to terminate the remaining part of the contract last July.
Piper Kerman, author of Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Woman’s Prison spoke with audience members at the Ronald Tutor Campus Center Grand Ballroom Tuesday night about her experiences behind bars and the state of the modern corrections system.Inmate to writer · Author Piper Kerman revealed to students her goal to enlighten readers about incarceration and prison life with her book. – Jessica Zhou | Daily Trojan Kerman’s book describes her time at Danbury Correctional Facility in Connecticut for felonies involving drug trafficking that she had committed about 10 years earlier. After college, Kerman followed an older woman through various areas around the world, including places such as Bali and Zurich. She was asked to carry drug money from Chicago to Brussels, which led to her imprisonment.Her memoir was adapted into a Netflix original series created by Jenji Kohan that was recently renewed for a second season. For those reading the book, Kerman hopes the reader gets a true idea of incarceration.“I hoped that the reader might come away with a different idea of who is in prison in this country, why they are there and what really happens to them behind the jail walls,” Kerman said.She noted that over the past 40 years, there has been an 800 percent increase in women’s incarceration because the justice system in the United States is putting people in prison that would not have been put in prison in the past.When she was incarcerated, prisoners were put to work in various areas of the prison, and Kerman was placed in electrical work as well as construction. Kerman also mentioned that working and doing things that allow women to express their creativity in prison help them get through their sentences.“You want control over your body in a place that tries to take that control away,” Kerman said.The author also talked about how race, class and gender play a role within the prison system.“Prisons are designed to marginalize people,” Kerman said. “Many of the guards are males, and there can sometimes be problems between the correctional officers and the prisoners.”Kerman said she hopes people will soon be able to view prisoners through more than just a negative light.“My only hope is that everyone in the criminal justice system can be judged not only on their worst days, but also on their best days,” Kerman said.Students in attendance considered Kerman’s discussion especially telling about today’s incarceration system.“I think it was really eye-opening and pretty inspiring, and it made me want to get involved in something similar in the future,” said Aileen Li, a freshman majoring in neuroscience and psychology.Mimi Gualtieri, a freshman majoring in writing for screen and television, said she was surprised about how nicely prisoners treated Kerman.“I think she did a really good job of pointing out problems regarding the prison system, and had I been in her situation, I don’t think I would have expected people to be as nice as she described them to be,” she said.Kerman mentioned how kind the prisoners were to her, especially on her first day, and the prisoners offered her toothpaste and other amenities, which she had not expected.Ben Hannani, a freshman majoring in political science, said Kerman’s talk broke down some of his preconceived notions of the prison system.“I was interested to learn about prison reform and the role of women in prison, and she brought to light things that I would have otherwise not have been interested in,” Hannani said. “I have a really violent and aggressive vision of prisons, and after hearing Piper speak today, I realized that not all prisons are like that.”
The No. 16 USC football team hit the practice field again on Tuesday to continue preparation for Arizona State. The Trojans didn’t know it at the time, but they will be playing against a Sun Devil squad without its starting quarterback, as ASU’s Taylor Kelly is out for the second straight week with a foot injury.Light him up · Junior defensive end Leonard Williams will be crucial in slowing down Arizona State running back D.J. Foster. Foster is averaging 135.0 rush yards per game, good for ninth in the country. – Mariya Dondonyan | Daily TrojanMadden on the MoveRedshirt junior tailback Tre Madden reappeared on the depth chart ahead of USC’s game against Arizona State this Saturday. Madden suffered turf toe in training camp this fall and has yet to clock any playing time for the Trojans thus far. Madden is listed as the third tailback on the roster behind redshirt junior Javorius “Buck” Allen and sophomore Justin Davis.“It’s very frustrating,” Madden said Tuesday following his first practice back in full pads. “But it’s football so we’ll see how it goes.”When asked about the possibility of redshirting this season, Madden deferred the question, saying it would require talking to coaches and team doctors.USC head coach Steve Sarkisian had said earlier in the season that Madden should be ready by the Oregon State game, but he has been experiencing a lot of pain.“It takes a long time to loosen up, and it’s sore all the time,” Madden said. “It is one of the most frustrating things I’ve been through.”Last year, Madden was USC’s second-leading rusher, posting 703 rush yards in 11 games.Blackout?Redshirt junior wide receiver Victor Blackwell has been absent from practice recently. Blackwell is the latest player in the Trojan football program to draw less-than-desirable media attention to the field.“We haven’t seen him in over two weeks,” Sarkisian confirmed Tuesday. Blackwell had not received any playing time since the first game of the season against Fresno State, in which he caught three passes for 54 yards.Unfortunately, this USC football team is starting to get used to these kinds of controversies, but Sarkisian is staying firm on his stance.“There is no limbo to be in,” Sarkisian said. “If he decides to come meet with me, then we will talk about it.”Sun Devil SaturdayThe Trojans will face their first Pac-12 South opponent Saturday when they host the Arizona State Sun Devils at the Coliseum. ASU is 3-1 and currently ranked fourth in the Pac-12 South. The squad is coming off a 62-27 Thursday night loss to UCLA that resulted in it dropping out of the AP Poll completely.Every team USC faces in Pac-12 South play, including ASU, has the Saturday before it plays USC off.“Everyone is getting a couple more days to stare at us than [we get to] stare at them,” Sarkisian said.Despite the abnormality of the situation, redshirt junior quarterback Cody Kessler doesn’t see a change in preparation.“We had a good balance of running and passing and that’s what we need for this offense to be successful,” Kessler said. “And I personally prepare week in and week out to be prepared for anything they throw at us.” One of the most highly touted Sun Devils is junior running back D.J. Foster. Foster is averaging 135 yards per game on the ground.Sarkisian emphasized Foster’s versatility, naming a laundry list of things he does well.“He can run it, he can catch it out of the backfield, he can catch it as a wide receiver, and he is hard to tackle,” Sarkisian said. “He’s all over the place.”
The weather wasn’t the only thing that changed from Friday to Sunday at the Nielsen Tennis Stadium.Friday, the Wisconsin Badgers men’s tennis team was swept by No. 2 Ohio State. However, lineup changes and confidence boosts led UW to a victory Sunday against Penn State.Head coach Greg Van Emburgh was proud of the way his team recovered.“I think we really fought hard today and played with a lot of confidence,” Van Emburgh said. “We were down a couple of matches in the singles and fought back. We played really strong today, which was good after a tough loss against Ohio State on Friday.”To prepare for Sunday’s matchup against Penn State, changes had to be made, and Van Emburgh was aware of where to make them.Freshman Alexander Teppert replaced Petr Satral in doubles play at the No. 3 spot, and the freshman duo of Rodney Carey and Fredrik Ask was moved to the No. 2 spot.Against Ohio State, Carey and Ask were full of tiebreaking matches. The duo lasted the longest and finished last in doubles play after losing in a tiebreak. Moving to singles, Ask split sets but lost in tiebreak, and Carey lost both sets in tiebreak.Sunday against Penn State, Carey and Ask were working well together but struggled halfway through their match against duo Chris Young and Jason Lee.“We were still playing good, we just had a little bit of a lapse,” Carey said. “We didn’t want it to get too out of control; we were still on top of them, and we wanted to stay calm.”Carey and Ask were able to get a win in the No. 2 spot, and as play continued, Van Emburgh’s changes seemed to be working in the Badgers’ favor.“Rod and Fred have been playing well together, so they got to play at the two and I think it ended up paying off for us [Sunday],” Van Emburgh said of his decision to move the duo to the No. 2 doubles slot.Pleased with their coach noticing their improvement, Ask and Carey were proud of their performance and seemed to carry that confidence boost to their singles play.“Today was great,” Ask said. “I really like the way me and Rod have been playing. We had a match point against number two in the country, and so I feel like we’ve been playing great and that continued today.”The second major change in the lineup for Wisconsin involved breaking up the duo of Satral and Ricardo Martin. Teppert, who made his debut as a Badger this fall after redshirting his 2009-10 season, replaced Satral. The duo worked well together and got the victory.“Sometimes you just look at your different doubles options,” Van Emburgh said. “Teppert’s been playing some good tennis and his back has been a little sore, so I wanted to get him in the doubles.”However, the decision didn’t work in everyone’s favor. After sitting out the doubles matches on Sunday – something quite new to him – Satral ended up losing in singles 6-2, 6-2 to Penn State’s Russell Bader.“I wouldn’t have thought it would affect [Satral], but today, he didn’t play his best tennis,” Van Emurgh said. “I was a little disappointed that he didn’t because I know he’s a lot better of a player. But I know he’ll regroup and be fine for Iowa and Illinois.”